1. KIEFER SUTHERLAND CHARGED WITH DUI--COULD FACE JAIL TIME.
2. THIS YEAR, 6 ALREADY DEAD FROM BRAIN EATING AMOEBA--NAEGLERIA FOWLERI--AS A RESULT OF SWIMMING.
3. PATRIOTS AND BELICHICK SUED FOR $184 MILLION BY "JETS FANS".
4. BRETT FAVRE--SAY NO MORE. DA BEARS--SAY NO LESS.
5. THE CUBBIES IN THE PLAYOFFS.
6. BRITNEY LOSES CUSTODY BATTLE.
7. JACKIE CHAN NOT A FAN OF HIS "RUSH HOUR" MOVIES--DIDN'T GET THE AMERICAN HUMOR--DID IT FOR THE MONEY.
8. PAMELA ANDERSON APPLIES FOR MARRIAGE LICENSE WITH RICK SALOMON
(GUY WHO MADE A SEX TAPE WITH PARIS HILTON AND WAS PREVIOUSLY
MARRIED TO SHANNEN DOHERTY).
9. ISIAH LOSES SEXUAL HARASSMENT SUIT--JURY AWARDS ANUCHA BROWNE SANDERS 11.6 MILLION DOLLARS.
10. RUMORS FLYING THAT IN HER BOOK DUE OUT THIS FALL, MARCIA BRADY WILL CLAIM TO HAVE HAD LESBIAN FLING WITH JAN BRADY.
11. LATE BREAKING VERY LOCAL NEWS (A HEATHER TOPIC REQUEST): NATHAN IS LEAVING US---OCTOBER 5 WILL BE HIS LAST DAY HERE.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
19 comments:
It's every male's dream come true
A Brady girl menage-a-deux
While I think it is a hoax
A scheme to get more folks
to buy Marcia's book, don't you?
His advances Anucha rejected
Now Isaiah looks dejected
because he's out 11.6 mil
a message Ms Sanders hopes will
teach men that women should respected.
AT THE OFFICE, THERE WAS A YOUNG LASS,
ISIAH THOMAS DID SEXUALLY HARASS,
BUT 11.6 MILLION TO ANUCHA BROWNE,
WHAT HAPPENED TO 5 YARDS AND LOSS OF DOWN,
THAT'S THE PENALTY FOR AN ILLEGAL FORWARD PASS.
THE RUMOR OF MARSHA GETTING IT ON WITH JAN BRADY,
I MUST ADMIT, IT DOES SOUND A BIT SHADY.
BUT WHAT WAS "MARSHA, MARSHA, MARSHA" TO DO?
BROTHER GREG, IN HIS BOOK, HE CLAIMED TO
HAVE DATED MOM, 'CAUSE SHE WAS ONE HOT LADY.
G---your isaiah thomas limerick might be your best one yet!
AT WORK, PACKERS FANS HAVE ASKED ME TO POST,
THIS TOPIC, SO THAT THEY CAN BOAST,
YEAH, FAVRE IS REALLY GREAT,
FOR SUNDAY, I CAN WAIT,
MY BELOVED BEARS WILL SURELY BE TOAST.
HEADLINES SAY THE CUBS ARE ON THE BRINK,
OF ELIMINATION, I CAN'T BEAR TO THINK.
AND SPEAKING ABOUT THE BEARS,
THEY'RE GIVING ME NIGHTMARES,
SO FAR, THIS SEASON DOES STINK.
Pam's new boyfriend like to videotape sex
oh,wait, so did tommy her ex
desperate to be in the spotlight
she'll pass on mr right
and spend time with a guy even shannon doherty rejects
turns out jackie chan is a whore
a big paycheck he was trying to score
is he really to blame
rush hour 1 & 2 weren't too lame
but the third one was a total bore
K-fed finally came out on top
he didn't make it in hip-hop
but by siring Brit's boys
her money he now enjoys
cuz the judge ruled him #1 pop.
There was a young man named Nate
His eyeglasses weren't so great
To change them I really did try
My argument he just didn't buy
I guess cool specs are just not his fate.
Nate, I'll miss you wearing the bunny suit
Every time, it was such a hoot
How you and Doc matched
I grew so attached
At least now you'll have a shorter commute.
In memory of nathan's near-syncopal event:
Syncope caused by ischemia
Or even hypovolemia
your face turned green
it was quite a scene.
Wait, nate, do you have bulemia?
AND NOW IT'S TIME TO LAMENT,
OF ALL THE HOURS I'VE SPENT.
WATCHING THE BEARS ON TV,
I'M SURE ALL WOULD AGREE,
THEY PUT THE "BEAR" IN
EM-"BEAR"-RASSMENT.
Even my dad called them the Flubs
and he was a die-hard fan of the Cubs
Will they lose game three
I guess we shall soon see
If they are champions or a bunch of schlubs.
Brett Favre, the leader of the Pack
A gunslinger, good at avoiding the sack
He broke Marino's record
Our faith is restored
A guy like him is what the Bears lack.
For Heather:
There once was a man who did echo,
whom they wouldn't pay for the heck-o,
while watching tv, a green lizard there be,
so he found the best price like the gecko!
Guess who???????
Hakmed
"It's now safe to Valmorphanize"
Post a Comment