TOPICS FOR FRIDAY NOV 2

1. HOT DOG CHAMP JOEY CHESTNUT (SEE JULY 6 BLOG) SETS HAMBURGER EATING RECORD (103 SMALL HAMBURGERS IN 8 MINUTES).

2. SPEAKING ON THE CAMPUS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA, STEPHEN COLBERT PROMISES THAT IF ELECTED PRESIDENT, TO "CRUSH THE STATE OF GEORGIA".

3. ROBERT CULP (STAR OF 60'S TV SERIES "I SPY") FILES LAWSUIT CLAIMING LOS ANGELES ZOO IS MISTREATING ELEPHANTS (CLAIMS THEY ARE WITHHOLDING MEDICAL CARE AND KEEPING THEM CRAMPED IN SMALL PLACES).

4. AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT, SCARLETT JOHANSSON GIVES BOYFRIEND, RYAN REYNOLDS, ONE OF HER RECENTLY PULLED WISDOM TEETH WHICH SHE HAD SET IN GOLD.

5. BREAKUP RUMORS FLYING CONCERNING ELLEN DEGENERES AND PORTIA DE ROSSI.

6. GRAND JURY INFORMATION LEAKED: 21 Y.O. WASHINGTON STATE WOMAN CLAIMS 51 Y.O. COPPERFIELD INVITED HER TO HIS SECLUDED 150 ACRE BAHAMAS ESTATE WITH THE PROMISE OF ADVANCING HER CAREER AS A MODEL. CLAIMS SHE WAS RAPED OVER THE THE 2 DAY PERIOD.

7. LAURIE'S CHOICE (I.E. SOME "SOCIALLY RELEVANT" TOPIC): THIS WEEK IT IS SOMETHING ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT WANTING LAKE MICHIGAN WATER DIVERTED TO THE SOUTHWEST.

8. IN NILES, MICHIGAN--MAN WHO ASSAULTED FORMER FRIEND WITH PICKLES
(AND TELEPHONE) SENTENCED TO ONE YEAR PROBATION (GETS CREDIT FOR 54 DAYS SERVED IN JAIL).

9. OPRAH CUTS HILARY SWANK'S HAIR FOR CHARITY.

10 BORAT HAS BABY GIRL.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY OCT 26

1. DAVID COPPERFIELD'S WAREHOUSE RAIDED BY FBI--THERE ARE ALLEGATIONS OF SEXUAL IMPROPRIETY.

2. IN ST. MAARTEN, DOZENS TREATED FOR TB AS A RESULT OF EXPOSURE TO A STRIPPER.

3. MASTER WIZARD ALBUS DUMBLEDORE WAS GAY.

4. IN INDIA, 6 ELEPHANTS ELECTROCUTED IN A DRUNKEN RAMPAGE (THEY UPROOTED A UTILITY POLE CARRYING POWER LINES).

5. MARIE OSMOND FAINTS DURING "DANCING WITH THE STARS".

6. ROBERT GOULET AWAITING LUNG TRANSPLANT.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY OCT.19

1. IN APPLETON, WISCONSIN--BURGLARY REPORTED---THIEF ENTERS UNLOCKED APARTMENT AND WALKS AWAY WITH PIZZA, SIX EGGS, CAN OF BEEF RAVIOLI, CAN OF PEACHES, ONE CHICKEN AND BROCCOLI HOT POCKET---LEAVES VALUABLES.

2. PAMELA ANDERSON AND RICK SALOMON ALREADY GET INTO A MAJOR ARGUMENT POST WEDDING. IT SEEMS RICK WANTED TO VIDEOTAPE THEIR LOVE---RICK: "(WE)COULD MAKE A (BLEEPING) FORTUNE" AND PAM: "I AM NOT A PORN STAR".

3. PAM MAY BE PREGNANT---COULD HAVE BEEN A SHOTGUN WEDDING.

4. "GREG BRADY" MADE HONORARY MEMBER OF AIR FORCE 4TH FIGHTER WING 335TH FIGHTER SQUADRON.

5. ELLEN DEGENERES GAVE AWAY RESCUE DOG, IGGY, TO HAIRDRESSER--VIOLATION OF HER AGREEMENT WITH "MUTTS AND MOMS AGENCY". THEY TAKE DOG AWAY FROM HAIRDRESSER. ELLEN TEARFULLY EXPLAINS SITUATION ON HER SHOW.

6. DENTIST TRYING TO SAVE HIS LICENSE BY CLAIMING BREAST RUBS WERE PERFORMED ON WOMEN TO TREAT TMJ.

7. IN PITTSBURGH, WOMEN SPYING ON HER HUSBAND GETS TRAPPED UNDER SUV
WHEN SHE FALLS ASLEEP AND SOMEONE LETS AIR OUT OF TIRES.

8. IN NEW YORK, BRIDE (AND LAWYER), SUES FLORIST CLAIMING FLORIST SUBSTITUTED PASTEL PINK AND GREEN HYDRANGEAS FOR DARK RUST AND GREEN ONES. FLOWERS COST $23,435.14---BRIDE ASKING FOR MORE THAN $400,000 IN DAMAGES.

9. LINDSAY LOHAN DENIES SHE IS BROKE.

10. MADONNA INKS 10 YEAR 120 MILLION DOLLAR DEAL WITH LIVE NATION INC.

11. IN VERY LOCAL NEWS, THE GREAT "IRREGARDLESS" CONTROVERSY.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY OCT 12

1. IN HALF MOON BAY, CALIFORNIA, THE TWO GUYS WHO KILLED GAYLORD THE OSTRICH BECAUSE IT HUMILIATED THEM IN FRONT OF THEIR GIRLFRIENDS WILL BE DOING JAIL TIME.

2. BEARS BEAT PACKERS.

3. CUBBIES--ANY TEAM CAN HAVE A BAD CENTURY.

4. IN PITTSBURGH, MAN ARRESTED AFTER HE TRIED TO PASS OFF A $1 MILLION DOLLAR BILL AT A SUPERMARKET.

5. MARION JONES RETURNS OLYMPIC MEDALS AFTER HER ADMISSION SHE WAS A DRUG CHEAT.

6. DANNY BONADUCE WILL NOT BE CHARGED AFTER HE TOSSED JOHNNY FAIRPLAY
(OF SURVIVOR FAME) ONTO HIS FACE AND KNOCKED OUT HIS FRONT TEETH DURING REALITY AWARDS SHOW.

7. FOLLOW UP: PAMELA ANDERSON MARRIES RICK SALOMON LAST SATURDAY IN BETWEEN PERFORMANCES OF SHOW SHE IS DOING WITH ILLUSIONIST, HANS KLOK.

8. KIEFER SUTHERLAND TO SERVE 48 DAY JAIL TERM STARTING IN DECEMBER.

9. OUR 6 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!!