Saturday, September 29, 2007

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY OCT. 5

1. KIEFER SUTHERLAND CHARGED WITH DUI--COULD FACE JAIL TIME.

2. THIS YEAR, 6 ALREADY DEAD FROM BRAIN EATING AMOEBA--NAEGLERIA FOWLERI--AS A RESULT OF SWIMMING.

3. PATRIOTS AND BELICHICK SUED FOR $184 MILLION BY "JETS FANS".

4. BRETT FAVRE--SAY NO MORE. DA BEARS--SAY NO LESS.

5. THE CUBBIES IN THE PLAYOFFS.

6. BRITNEY LOSES CUSTODY BATTLE.

7. JACKIE CHAN NOT A FAN OF HIS "RUSH HOUR" MOVIES--DIDN'T GET THE AMERICAN HUMOR--DID IT FOR THE MONEY.

8. PAMELA ANDERSON APPLIES FOR MARRIAGE LICENSE WITH RICK SALOMON
(GUY WHO MADE A SEX TAPE WITH PARIS HILTON AND WAS PREVIOUSLY
MARRIED TO SHANNEN DOHERTY).

9. ISIAH LOSES SEXUAL HARASSMENT SUIT--JURY AWARDS ANUCHA BROWNE SANDERS 11.6 MILLION DOLLARS.

10. RUMORS FLYING THAT IN HER BOOK DUE OUT THIS FALL, MARCIA BRADY WILL CLAIM TO HAVE HAD LESBIAN FLING WITH JAN BRADY.

11. LATE BREAKING VERY LOCAL NEWS (A HEATHER TOPIC REQUEST): NATHAN IS LEAVING US---OCTOBER 5 WILL BE HIS LAST DAY HERE.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY SEPT. 28

1. PHIL SPECTOR TRIAL ENDS WITH MISTRIAL.

2. DA BEARS---HELLO BRIAN, GOOD-BY REX.

3. IN VERY LOCAL NEWS, "THE DOC" SPENDS THE WEEK IN SCOTLAND (PLAYING GOLF OF COURSE).

4. IN AUSTRALIA, "PRANKSTER" BARMAID ON TRIAL AFTER SERVING A PATRON A SHOT OF 'PINE-O-CLEAN' DISINFECTANT.

Monday, September 17, 2007

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY SEPT 21

1. OJ CHARGED WITH ARMED ROBBERY.

2. HIT ORDERED ON K-FED.

3. 50 CENT SAYS HE WILL RETIRE AS SOLO ARTIST IF KANYE WEST'S NEW ALBUM OUTSELLS HIS IN FIRST WEEK SALES. 50 CENT ALSO CANCELS THREE EUROPEAN TOUR DATES.

4. THE EMMYS.

5. ALECIA SILVERSTONE APPEARS NUDE IN AD FOR PETA.

6. "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE GUY", CHRIS CROCKER, MAY GET OWN TV SHOW.

7. IN ATLANTA SUBURB, ARMLESS MAN FATALLY HEADBUTTS ROMANTIC RIVAL.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY SEPT 14

1. BRITNEY PERFORMS AT MTV AWARDS.

2. PEOPLE DO THE STUPIDEST THINGS
A. IN DULUTH, MAN TRIES TO ROB HOUSE---STRIPPED NAKED BY INTENDED VICTIM.
B. WOMAN DRIVES TO COURTHOUSE TO PAY TICKET-- IN A STOLEN CAR.
C. MAN ROBS BANK--HOLD UP NOTE WRITTEN ON HIS OWN PERSONAL CHECK.

3. STEVE FOSSETT MISSING.

4. PATRIOTS CAUGHT CHEATING IN THEIR GAME AGAINST THE JETS.

5. PAM ANDERSON CLAIMS SHE PAID OFF POKER DEBT WITH SEXUAL FAVORS.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY SEPT. 7

TWO WEEKS WORTH OF TOPICS:

1. OWEN WILSON SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

2. LANCE BRIGGS CRASHES CAR AND LEAVES SCENE OF ACCIDENT.

3. SENATOR LARRY CRAIG AND HIS BATHROOM ANTICS.

4. LEONA HELMSLEY LEAVES HER WHITE MALTESE "TROUBLE" 12 MILLION DOLLARS IN TRUST FUND.

5. JERRY LEWIS APOLOGIZES FOR ANTI-GAY SLUR.

6. IN NEPAL, AIRLINE SACRIFICES TWO GOATS TO APPEASE SKY GOD.

7. WHOOPI DEFENDS VICK.