TOPICS FOR FRIDAY MAY 9

1. CEDRIC BENSON

2. HEATHER'S BIRTHDAY.

3. ANY OTHER TOPICS ONE WISHES TO RHYME ABOUT.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY APRIL 18 AND APRIL 25 (I WAS LAZY)

1. IN NEW YORK, MAN SETS UP CANDLELIGHT PROPOSAL FOR GIRLFRIEND---GAZEBO LATER BURNS DOWN.

2. AMERICAN AIRLINES AND THE MD-80'S.

3. WIDOW SUES PETSMART AFTER HUSBAND DIES AFTER HAVING RECEIVED LIVER TRANSPLANT. DONOR LIVER WAS INFECTED BY HAMSTER.

4. ASHLEE SIMPSON TO WED ROCKER PETE WENTZ.

5. MICHAEL JOHNS VOTED OFF AMERICAN IDOL--SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.

6. COLLEGE CLASS TAKES FIELD TRIP TO NEVADA BROTHEL (THE CHICKEN RANCH).

7. JOSE'S CHALLENGE: COME UP WITH A LIMERICK FOR "IVUS" (INTRAVASCULAR
ULTRASOUND)

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY APRIL 4

1. SEINFELD FLIPS CAR.

2. BASEBALL SEASON BEGINS (FOR CUBS AND SOX).

2. ANY OTHER TOPIC.

WE'RE BACK---TOPICS FOR FRIDAY MARCH 14

1. THE ELIOT SPITZER SAGA.

2. IN NESS CITY KANSAS, LADY FREED FROM TOILET SHE HAD BEEN SITTING ON FOR TWO YEARS.

3. GWYNETH PALTROW HAS LETTER C TATTOOED TO HER RIGHT THIGH (IN HONOR OF HER HUSBAND).

4. BILLY CRYSTAL PLAYS FOR YANKEES FOR ONE DAY.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY FEB 8 (POSTED LATE) AND FEB 15

1. THE SUPER BOWL.

2. ANYTHING PRESIDENTIAL.

3. IN FLORIDA, POLICE ARREST MOTORIST WHO HAD 24 PACK OF BEER STRAPPED WITH SEATBELT---16 MONTH OLD GIRL SITTING IN BACK SEAT UNRESTRAINED WITH MOM.

4. JAPANESE PLANNING TO LAUNCH PAPER AIRPLANES FROM SPACE BACK TO EARTH.

5. BRITNEY ALLEGEDLY DRUGGED BY MANAGER.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY FEB 1

1. CONFIRMATION OF ANGELINA JOLIE'S PREGNANCY MAY BE UP FOR BID.

2. HANNAH MONTANA LEGALLY CHANGES NAME FROM DESTINY HOPE CYRUS TO MILEY RAY CYRUS.

3. IN EAST NAPLES FLORIDA--WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER SHE BREAKS IN TO BEAUTY
SALON TO GET REFUND FOR BAD HAIRCUT SHE RECEIVED---HUSBAND SAYS IT WAS THE WRONG SALON.

TOPICS FOR FRIDAY JAN 25

1. HEATH LEDGER DIES.

2. SUZANNE PLESHETTE DIES.