1. LOHAN WITH ANOTHER DUI---NOW BACK IN REHAB.
2. QUARTERBACK TONY ROMO WANTS TIMEOUT IN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CARRIE UNDERWOOD DURING FOOTBALL SEASON.
3. MISS USA TRIPS AT MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT.
4. DUTCH REALITY TV SHOW HAS CONTESTANTS VIE FOR KIDNEY TRANSPLANT.
5. BORAT TO WRITE TRAVEL BOOK.
6. JACK "DR. DEATH" KEVORKIAN RELEASED FROM JAIL.
7. "LAURIE'S CHOICE"--I.E. FEEL FREE TO WRITE ABOUT ANY TOPIC ABOUT WHICH YOU FEEL STRONGLY (JUST LIKE LAURIE DOES).
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IN HOLLAND, TRANSPLANT STATUS IS SUCH,
THAT TV EXECS DIDN'T THINK IT TOO MUCH,
FOR A KIDNEY CONTESTANTS WILL VIE,
QUESTION: WHO WILL BE THE NEXT DONOR GUY?
ADVICE: DON'T ACCEPT ANY OFFERS TO GO DUTCH.
Alas, poor Carrie Underwood
She thought things with Tony were good
Then he called for a time out;
football's what he's all about
His priorities are now understood.
First, by the Mexican audience, she's booed.
People in TN are never that rude.
Then she trips on her gown
Onto her butt she falls down.
Embarrassing--but,would've been worse if she pooed.
The 3 Bimbos of the Apocalypse are at an all-time-low
Britney Spears' hair she's trying to grow
Paris Hilton is in jail
and Lindsey's out in bail
To drugs and drinking, maybe they should just say no.
For those on the waiting list
"Big Donor Show" is not to be missed
Of organs, there's a dearth
A reality show that has some worth?
That Survivor guy's gonna be pissed.
MISS USA ON SATURDAY MADE A MESS,
DID SHE SLIP OR TRIP ON HER DRESS ?
SHE GOT UP REAL QUICK,
BUT SHE WASN'T THEIR PICK,
I DON'T KNOW WHO WAS, I CONFESS
DR JACK IS OUT OF JAIL,
8 YEARS HE SPENT READING HIS MAIL,
HIP, HIP, HOORAY
DR KEVORKIAN CAN AGAIN PLAY,
I HOPE HIS NEEDLES DIDN'T GET STALE
THE CICADAS ARE A REAL TREAT,
IT DEPENDS ON HOW MANY YOU EAT,
HOLD YOUR NOSE WHEN YOU SWALLOW,
I'LL BET THEY'RE REAL HOLLOW,
SHARING WITH THE DOGS IS A FEAT.
Thank God Dr. K is out of the clink
The pro-lifers push me to the brink
Let the sick make a choice
While they still have a voice
In the end, it's their lives, don't you think?
The Borat movie was hilarious
Tho some called it nefarious
They just don't get it,
calling him anit-Semitic
He's a MOTT--don't be so serious.
Dr. Death got jailed and took the fall,
For his patients wished to end it all.
But now he is free to continue his purge,
Of the sick and elderly who get the urge.
Where was he during my last weekend call?
AT THE PAGEANT MISS USA RACHEL SMITH MADE A WRONG,
PERHAPS SHE SLIPPED CAUSE HER GOWN WAS TOO LONG,
UNLIKE EX MISS UNIVERSE JENNIFER HAWKINS,
SHE DIDN'T LOSE HER SKIRT AT A FASHION SHOW WALKIN',
BUT NOTHING WRONG WITH JUST WEARING A THONG.
JACK KEVORKIAN'S A FREE MAN TODAY,
EIGHT YEARS FOR HIS CRIME HE DID PAY.
TO MEET HIM MUST BE GREAT,
'CAUSE I'VE HEARD PEOPLE STATE,
HE IS ONE TO TAKE YOUR BREATH CLEAN AWAY.
BACK TO REHAB LINDSAY GOES FOR A BREATHER,
WILL SHE LEARN TO BECOME RESPONSIBLE OR DETOX OR NEITHER?
IF SHE SHOULD EVER WIND UP IN THE CLINK,
SHE'D BE SAFE FROM RAPE I WOULD THINK,
'CAUSE LIKE IN POKER, NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE THE "LOHAN" EITHER.
IN THE PLAYOFFS, TONY ROMO PULLED QUITE THE STUNT,
FUMBLING A SNAP REMOVED DALLAS FROM THE HUNT,
NOW IS HE SHOWING A LACK OF CLASS?
IS HE DROPPING CARRIE LIKE A BAD PASS?
MY ADVICE TO CARRIE IS IT'S TIME TO PUNT.
Lindsey Lohan is a complete disaster
In the fast lane, she tries to live faster
Again she was picked up
For driving while lit up
After rehab, will anyone cast her?
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