1. OLYMPIC SWIMMER AMANDA BEARD TO POSE NAKED FOR PLAYBOY.
2. JERRY FALWELL (FAREWELL TO FALWELL)
3. PRINCE HARRY NOT GOING TO SERVE IN IRAQ.
4. JAIL TIME FOR PARIS CUT IN HALF.
5. AMERICAN IDOL--NOW DOWN TO FINAL 2--MELINDA IS OUT.
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AS THE FOUNDER OF THE MORAL MAJORITY, FALWELL WAS QUITE DEFT,
IF YOU DID NOT AGREE WITH HIM, OF RIGHTEOUSNESS YOU WERE BEREFT.
BUT HE ONCE CLAIMED A TELETUBBY WAS GAY,
AND THE ANTICHRIST WAS A JEW ALIVE TODAY,
NOW HE'S NO LONGER A MEMBER OF THE RIGHT-- FOR THIS EARTH HE'S NOW LEFT.
"The antiChrist is a living male Jew;
TinkyWinky is homosexual,too"
Death couldn't come faster
For this deranged pastor
I hope he choked on the hate he did spew.
IDOL IS FINALLY DOWN TO JUST TWO,
FALWELL CLAIMED THE ANTICHRIST WAS A JEW,
PARIS' TIME HAS BEEN CUT IN HALF,
PRINCE HARRY TO IRAQ?--THAT'S A LAUGH,
BEARD TO POSE NAKED IS NOW PLAYBOY'S COUP.
I wonder who God meant to hurt
By returning Fallwell to dirt
All those Jews, fags, and hos
In the trenches below
Better be on highest alert.
Prince Harrys not going to Iraq,
The US has to pick up the slack,
While Blair is taking a nappy,
The Queen she is happy,
As she does not look good in black
SHE IS A SWIMMER OF INTERNATIONAL RENOWN,
AMANDA BEARD HAS WORN THE OLYMPIC CROWN.
NOW SHE IS BACK IN THE NEWS,
WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU MAY MUSE,
NO--IT'S FOR WHAT'S COMING OFF THAT WE FROWN.
You'd think she'd hold herself in higher esteem.
For Godssake she was on the Olympic swim team.
I guess it's an honor just to be asked
to appear submissive and bare-assed
In a national mag on which guys will cr**m.
Don't worry: in 23 days, she'll get out
So we can see more of her eterna-pout.
I'm sick of Paris;
a worthless heiress
Never sure what her famousness was about.
To me, it's not really so weird
With a name like Amanda BEARD
To want to be naked
&have your picture taked
I'm sure her whole life she was jeered.
THE IMMIGRATION BILL IS ON THE FLOOR
HOW, OH HOW CAN WE TAKE ANY MORE
FOR $5000, THE MEXICANS CAN STAY
THAN'S WHAT OUR GOVERNMENT WANTS THEM TO PAY
SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER STUPID IDEA FROM AL GORE
AS A BELIEVER IN CONSPIRACY THEORIES
I CAN,
TELL WHEN THERE'S A MUCH GRANDER PLAN.
PRISON LIFE SHE'LL STILL SAMPLE,
PARIS IS AN EXAMPLE,
OF A RICH GIRL BEING KEPT DOWN BY "THE MAN".
AND NOW IT'S TIME TO ADDRESS,
THE CAUSE OF MY GREATEST DISTRESS,
FORGET PARIS AND JERRY,
IT'S NOT AMANDA OR HARRY,
BUT MELINDA IS OUT--I'M A MESS.
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