1. OPRAH'S FATHER WRITING BOOK--OPRAH STUNNED OR OPRAH RECEIVES ELIE WIESEL HUMANITARIAN AWARD OR ANYTHING OPRAH.
2. AMERICAN IDOL FINALS.
3. PAULA ABDUL BREAKS NOSE "TRYING TO AVOID STEPPING ON CHIHUAHUA".
4. APOLO OHNO WINS "DANCING WITH THE STARS".
5. "THE APPRENTICE" WILL NOT BE RENEWED FOR NEXT SEASON.
6. GOLFER DIES WHEN HE DRIVES CART OVER CLIFF.
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TO DRIVE A GOLF CART OVER A CLIFF IS A BLUNDER,
HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN, ONE CAN ONLY WONDER.
IT'S TRAGIC, IT'S SAD.
BUT THE NEWS ISN'T ALL BAD,
AFTER ALL, HE DID FINISH SIX UNDER.
THIS SEASON OF IDOL IS NOW DONE,
WITH IT, WE HAD LOT'S OF FUN.
SANJAYA'S 15 MINUTES OF FAME,
MELINDA THIRD, I THOUGHT A SHAME,
BUT CONGRATULATIONS TO JORDIN FOR SHE WON.
AT FIRST WE WERE REALLY WIRED,
TO SEE WHO IN THE END WOULD BE HIRED.
BUT THE BOARDROOM BECAME A BORE,
"THE APPRENTICE" WON'T BE SEEN ANYMORE,
FOR NBC TOLD THE DONALD, HEY "YOU'RE FIRED".
PAULA ABDUL FELL AND SHE BROKE HER NOSE,
'CAUSE OF A DOG, THE STORY IT GOES,
IS THIS REALLY THE ANSWER?
I THOUGHT THIS LADY WAS A DANCER,
I'M BETTING DRUGS ARE THE CAUSE OF HER WOES.
While playing golf, somebody died
Because he drove his cart over the side
of a big cliff
now he's a stiff
Maybe walking the course he should've tried.
Heather's favorite group is Green Day
On the Idol finale they did play
A band of such acclaim
Doesn't need that show to boost their fame
Luckily we didn't have to listen to Clay
Ohno beat the guy from NSync
Proving he's a champ outside the rink
This seasons trophy he holds
To add to his collection of golds
To sit through that show I need a stiff drink
The Donald he will not be back
His developments must keep him on track
The Apprentice is done for
The boardroom is no more
Will Rosie then pick up the slack
The prices are high on the gas
On a new SUV take a pass
The Arabs are smiling
As we go on toiling
As we continue to get stuck in the ass
SHE'S SO NARCISSISTIC THAT I FEEL LIKE A DOPE-RAH,
THAT I CAN'T BRING HER DOWN IN RHYME
LIKE I'D HOPE-RAH.
BUT THE TRUTH IS AND IT'S A CRIME,
FOR ME, HER NAME'S TOO HARD TO RHYME,
HEY, IS IT PRONOUNCED OH-PRAH OR IS IT OPE-RAH?
Guess who's on the cover of O magazine?
Her face a million times you've seen
Her dad's writing a book
Doubt she'll have first look
A tell-all on which she's not keen.
Dancing with the Stars, what can I say?
Dancing outfits make everyone look gay
I've never seen the show
Heard the winner was Ohno
With skating outfits, he's used to looking that way (gay).
She tripped on a dog, that Paula Abdul
Another way for her to look like a fool
Her eyes always have a glaze
like she just smoked purple haze
She's better than Simon, who's a real tool.
There is a band from the East Bay
They go by the name of Green Day
On Idol they guested
A poor decision at best
WTF, Billie, Mike, and Tre?
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