1. PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON BREAK UP.
2. WHILE IN INDIA, RICHARD GERE KISSES ACTRESS SHILPA SHETTY IN PUBLIC AND CAUSES STIR.
3. SANJAYA (OR ANYTHING AMERICAN IDOL).
4. BUEHRLE THROWS NO-HITTER (OR ANYTHING RELATED TO THE SOX---OR CUBS).
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THE SOX HAVE A PITCHER NAMED BUEHRLE,
IN THE 2007 SEASON QUITE EARLY,
HE THREW A NO-HITTER,
BOY ARE THOSE CUBS FANS REALLY BITTER,
'CAUSE THEIR STAFF PITCHES LIKE MOE, LARRY, CURLY.
It's over for Prince William and Kate.
I guess marriage was not their fate.
Was she too much to handle?
Was he avoiding a scandal?
Could be; I hear she's a month late.
And so another sad season begins
They'll have more losses than wins
But who really cares
About a team of baby bears?
When it's all about the boys with white sox on their shins.
With May comes The Office hiatus I dread;
In June, I'll watch Rescue Me instead.
A month between fave shows is so wrong
It will seem so hard and so long
To quote Michael Scott: "That's what she said."
I'm glad I'm not Alec Baldwin's kid.
That man really flipped his lid.
He verbally assaulted her.
His 12 year old daughter.
I think Kim B. will win the custody bid.
And so now we say a sad good-bya
To that little shemale Sanjaya
He brought us so much joy
That Indian ladyboy
I'm so upset, I'm going to crya.
This is dedicated to Nathan S.
Yes, I'm a die-hard Cubs fan
But won't sit in the bleachers to get tan
I don't care if they're sold
or their losing gets old
My love of the game, Heather just can't understand
THERE ONCE WAS A "SINGER" NAMED SANJAYA,
WHO CAUSED MILLIONS EACH WEEK TO GO "OH ME, OH MY-AH"
THAT GUY WOULD ALWAYS WIN,
TILL COUNTRY DID HIM IN,
FINALLY, NOW WE CAN SAY ADIOS AND GOOD-BYE-AH.
Who doesn't love a sport that features
Drinking beer sitting on bleachers
Watching men swing their bats
Whilst you keep their stats
Baseball fans are such bizarre creatures.
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