1. BOBBY FISCHER DIES.
2. UFO SIGHTINGS IN STEPHENVILE, TEXAS.
3. THE OPRAH CHANNEL IS COMING.
4. ANYTHING BRITNEY--- 4 PHOTOGRAPHERS ARRESTED AFTER CHASING BRITNEY--BRITNEY LOSES ACCESS TO CHILDREN---DR. PHIL WILL NOT BE DOING SHOW ABOUT BRITNEY.
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to be recited with southern twang:
Look up, what's that I see?
A UFO, you say? Well, I'll be
Some new Martian friends
About to meet a real Texan
With luck, maybe they'll probe me.
Britney's life is a big f'ing mess
To add to the poor girl's distress
A visit from "Dr" Phil McGraw
Who violated the California law
because a medical degree he doesn't possess
IN THE GAME OF CHESS, BOBBY, HE WAS GREAT.
BUT IN LIFE, HE WAS FILLED WITH MUCH HATE.
NOW HIS FINAL GAME IS DONE,
BY BOBBY, IT WASN'T WON,
IT WAS THE ANGEL OF DEATH WHO SAID "CHECKMATE".
IN HER CAREER, BRITNEY'S OVER THE HILL,
TO SAVE HER LIFE, WILL TAKE SOME WONDER PILL.
LITHIUM OR PROZAC?--I'M NOT SURE,
BUT I DO KNOW THAT THE CURE,
DOESN'T INCLUDE SOMEONE NAMED "DOCTOR" PHIL.
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