1. HEATHER IS BACK.
2. IN VERY LOCAL NEWS---RON AND "THOSE ARE THE BREAKS".
3. HILLARY CLINTON CRYING (OR ANYTHING ELSE RELATED TO THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES).
4. JAMIE LYNN SPEARS PREGNANT (WE HAVE SOME CATCHING UP TO DO IN THE WORLD OF THE CELEBRITIES).
5. LYNN SPEARS AND HER BOOK ON PARENTING.
6. MAN STEALING KNIVES TRIPS AND STABS SELF.
7. ONE KATRINA VICTIM FILES LAWSUIT ASKING FOR 3 QUADRILLION DOLLARS.
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There once was a guy called Ron
who broke his right olecranon
he fell playing football on ice
but now he is twice as nice
because of the good pain meds he's on
having fun in the snow, playing ball
is awesome till you take a big fall
that causes elbow pain so bad
you want to puke the breakfast you had
feeling worse than after your last college pub crawl
A LYNN SPEARS BOOK ON PARENTING SOUNDS JUST SICK.
IS THIS SOME KIND OF A TRICK?
WHAT BOOK WILL COME NEXT?
I'M HOPING FOR A TEXT,
ON HOW TO RAISE YOUR DOG BY MIKE VICK.
Gary and I back to our old tricks
writing celebrity limericks
about Britney of course
she's always a good source
because she and her fam are crazy chicks
What's a Hollywood Mom to do?
One is pregnant, the other kookoo.
Things can go bad
When you're scantily clad.
Is it Mrs. Lohan you look up to?
Who knew that Hillary
had in her artillary
a few precious tears
she'd been saving for years
since time served in a pillory
This time it's not about Britney,
but the younger one named Jamie
you can take those girls out of the sticks
but they will forever remain hicks
pregnant at 16--how very classy
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