1. VINCE VAUGHN SAYS HE DOES NOT OWN A CELL PHONE.
2. IN SYRACUSE, NY--DENTIST WHO WAS DANCING TO SONG "CAR WASH" WHILE DRILLING TO EXTRACT TOOTH, LOSES DRILL BIT IN WOMAN'S SINUS CAVITY/ORBIT.
3. KATIE HOLMES RUNS IN NEW YORK MARATHON.
4. PRIEST ACCUSED OF STALKING CONAN O'BRIEN ARRESTED.
5. DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER'S SHOW SUSPENDED AFTER HE USES N-WORD IN RASCIST RANT TOWARDS SON (REGARDING SON'S AFRICAN-AMERICAN GIRLFRIEND) . SON RELEASED TAPE.
6. BRITNEY LEAVES KIDS IN CAR FOR COURT APPOINTED MONITOR (THE PERSON WHO EVALUATES HER PARENTING SKILLS) TO WATCH--WHILE SHE GOES SHOPPING.
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3 comments:
So similar are Vince Vaughn and me
We're both tall and kind of goofy
and neither of us does own
that shackle known as the cell phone
Now if only me he would marry.
An NY dentist--we'll call him Josh
was drilling and dancing, but then, oh my gosh,
his bit went too far
causing more than a scar
now he'll be lucky to work at a car wash.
THOUGH HE'S NEVER WON AN OSCAR OR TONY,
AND NEVER MARRIED--SO THERE'S NO ALIMONY,
NOW HERE IS THE DEAL,
VAUGHN MUST BE FOR REAL,
'CAUSE WE KNOW HE ISN'T A "PHONE-Y".
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